SymptomMental health & sleep
Signs of Low Self-Esteem and What They Can Mean
Low self-esteem is a lasting, negative view of yourself: feeling inadequate, unlikable or less worthy than others. Common signs are harsh self-criticism, dismissing compliments, people-pleasing, fear of failure and avoiding challenges. Everyone doubts themselves sometimes. When these feelings are constant, or come with low mood, anxiety, disordered eating or substance use, they can be a sign of a mental health condition that responds well to treatment.
Also called: Poor self-worth, low self-confidence, negative self-image, feeling worthless
At a glance
- What it is
- A persistent negative opinion of yourself and your worth.
- Common signs
- Self-criticism, comparing yourself to others, people-pleasing, avoiding challenges, trouble accepting praise.
- Can point to
- Depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, trauma or substance use.
- When to get help
- It lasts for weeks, affects daily life, or comes with hopelessness or self-harm thoughts.
- What helps
- Talking therapy (especially CBT), treating any underlying condition, and practical self-help.
When to get help
Call 911 or go to the ER
- Thoughts of suicide, a plan, or feeling that others would be better off without you. Call or text 988 (US) or call 911 or your local emergency number
- Recent self-harm with injuries that need treatment
See a doctor within a day or two
- Feeling worthless or hopeless most of the day for 2 weeks or more
- Self-harm, even if injuries are minor
- Severe food restriction, bingeing and purging, or rapid weight loss
Book a routine appointment
- Low self-esteem that stops you working, studying, forming relationships or trying new things
- Constant worry about how you look, or spending hours checking a perceived flaw
- Using alcohol or drugs to feel confident or to cope
- Staying in a relationship where you are criticized, controlled or hurt
Usually safe to manage at home
- Occasional self-doubt in a new job, school or setback that eases as you settle in
Signs of low self-esteem
Low self-esteem shows in thoughts, feelings and behavior:
Thoughts
- Constant self-criticism ("I'm stupid", "I always mess up")
- Focusing on weaknesses and mistakes while ignoring successes
- Believing others are better, more capable or more likable
- Assuming people will reject or judge you
- Dismissing compliments as politeness or luck
Feelings
- Shame, guilt and embarrassment
- Anxiety in social or performance situations
- Sadness, frustration or feeling "not good enough"
- Envy or resentment when comparing yourself to others
Behaviors
- People-pleasing: difficulty saying no, putting everyone else first
- Avoidance: not applying for jobs, speaking up or trying new things for fear of failure
- Perfectionism: overworking to avoid criticism, then feeling it was never enough
- Seeking reassurance frequently
- Neglecting your own needs for sleep, food, health or fun
- Accepting poor treatment in relationships
- Defensiveness or overreacting to mild criticism
Low self-esteem in teenagers
Self-esteem often dips in early adolescence, especially around body image, school and friendships. Social media comparison, bullying and academic pressure all contribute. Signs that a teen's self-esteem is a concern include withdrawing from friends, harsh comments about their body or abilities, refusing to try activities, changes in eating, and self-harm. A teenager with persistent low mood or self-harm needs professional help.
What low self-esteem can be a sign of
Low self-esteem is not a diagnosis, but it is a core feature of several conditions:
| Condition | How self-esteem is affected | Other clues |
|---|---|---|
| Depression | Feelings of worthlessness and excessive guilt | Low mood, loss of interest, sleep and appetite changes for 2 weeks or more |
| Social anxiety disorder | Fear of being judged or embarrassed | Avoiding social situations, blushing, shaking |
| Eating disorders | Self-worth tied to weight and shape | Restricting food, bingeing, purging, over-exercising |
| Body dysmorphic disorder | Preoccupation with a perceived flaw in appearance | Mirror checking, camouflaging, seeking cosmetic procedures |
| Avoidant personality disorder | Long-standing sense of inadequacy | Avoiding relationships unless sure of being liked |
| PTSD and childhood trauma | Feeling damaged, ashamed or to blame | Flashbacks, nightmares, being on edge |
| Substance use | Drinking or using to feel confident | Needing more, struggling to cut down |
ADHD, learning differences, hearing loss and chronic illness can also affect self-esteem, especially when they lead to repeated criticism or exclusion.
Common causes
- Critical, neglectful or abusive experiences in childhood
- Bullying or discrimination
- Repeated failures or academic struggles
- Abusive or controlling relationships
- Ongoing stress, such as unemployment, money worries or caring responsibilities
- Long-term physical illness, pain or disability
- Social media comparison
- Mental health conditions such as depression, which feed negative thinking
When to get help
Speak to a primary care doctor, a counselor or a psychologist if low self-esteem:
- has lasted several weeks or longer
- affects your work, studies, relationships or daily activities
- comes with low mood, anxiety, eating problems or drinking
- leads to thoughts of self-harm or suicide
A doctor may ask questionnaires about mood and anxiety, and can refer you for talking therapy.
Treatment and self-help
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most effective treatment. It helps you identify harsh self-judgments, test them against evidence, and gradually face situations you avoid. Compassion-focused therapy helps people who are very self-critical. When depression or an anxiety disorder is present, treating it improves self-esteem too.
Self-help steps with evidence behind them:
- Notice and challenge self-critical thoughts: ask what you would say to a friend in the same situation.
- Write down three things each day you did well or appreciate about yourself.
- Set small, achievable goals and notice when you meet them.
- Practice saying no to small requests.
- Spend time with supportive people, and limit time with those who put you down.
- Exercise regularly, which improves mood and self-perception.
- Limit social media if it leaves you comparing yourself to others.
For a fuller explanation of how low self-esteem develops and is treated, see low self-esteem: causes and treatment.
Frequently asked questions
What are the signs of low self-esteem?
Common signs include harsh self-criticism, focusing on flaws, comparing yourself unfavorably to others, difficulty accepting compliments, people-pleasing, avoiding challenges, perfectionism and neglecting your own needs. Feelings of shame, anxiety and not being good enough are typical.
Is low self-esteem a symptom of depression?
It can be. Feelings of worthlessness and excessive guilt are core symptoms of depression. If low self-esteem comes with low mood, loss of interest, poor sleep or appetite changes for 2 weeks or more, see a doctor.
What causes low self-esteem?
Common causes include critical or abusive experiences in childhood, bullying, repeated failures, abusive relationships, ongoing stress, chronic illness and mental health conditions. Often several factors combine, and negative beliefs formed early are reinforced over time.
Can low self-esteem be fixed?
Yes. Self-esteem can improve at any age. Cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective, and self-help strategies such as challenging self-critical thoughts, setting small goals and spending time with supportive people also help.
How can I help someone with low self-esteem?
Listen without judging, offer specific and genuine praise, avoid criticism, and encourage them to try things at their own pace. If they seem depressed, are self-harming or talk about suicide, help them get professional support and call or text 988 in a crisis.
Sources
This guide was written from current patient and clinical guidance, including:
- NHS: Raising low self-esteem
- Mind (UK mental health charity): Self-esteem
- National Institute of Mental Health: Depression
- American Psychological Association: Building your resilience
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: About 988